Weekend Wrap Up

Okay, I'm stealing this idea from Jodi's blog. I don't feel so bad about it since she, herself was a little thief!! Hey, when you get in a blogging slump, you do what you gotta do, right??? Anyway, thanks for the cool idea, J!!!

Best part of the weekend: Going to Longview and visiting family

Worst part of the weekend: Watching poor Jonah deal with his stomach virus...poor baby!!!!

People I saw: Demetrius, Jonah, my in-laws... and my annoying neighbor (whom I wish I never had to see again)

Something I accomplished this weekend: I finally got my schedule for work figured out, narrowed down my search to 2 babysitting prospects, finished up Jonah's first scrapbook, and convinced Demetrius to steam clean the carpets!!

Something I wish I did this weekend, but didn't get done: There's always some form of organizing or cleaning that I wish I could have done but didn't get to (I'm sooooo OCD)!! Main one is probably giving the dogs a bath...man, that'll wear you out when you have 4 of them!!!

Things I am looking forward to this week: Jonah's baptism and seeing all of our beautiful family!!!

Things I am not looking forward to this week: Jonah's baptism (yes, I know I used that on the last one...but no matter how much I LOVE parties and get togethers, they is always sooooooo much work!!!! Also, I'm not thrilled about meeting with babysitters...although it's absolutely needed, I hate the thought of leaving my baby with anyone else. I pray I'll find the right person.

Okay, so I copied from Jodi....now you are welcome to copy from me....I'd love to see how your weekend went!!!

SO much LOVE!!!

This past weekend, we made our very first trip to Dallas since Jonah was born. We only stayed for one night but it was really fun. A little nerve wracking for me though because I never packed up Jonah's things for an overnight visit...so of course I was worried about forgetting this or not having that. But it all worked out fine. My mom's house was equipped for everything we needed...including plenty of love!!!

That was probably one of the greatest parts of visiting. With my mom, my sister, and my best friend, Jonah was engulfed with attention. And then at my cousin's little boy's 1st birthday party, there was even more love to be shared!!!

Even though we're miles away from family and can't see them on a daily basis, I know Jonah will grow up knowing how special he is and how special family is. I sometimes worry about Jonah being an only child...growing up lonely, having noone to call his own if something happened to me or his daddy. But I am assured in my heart that he will always be taken care of even if we aren't around.

So the time we do get to spend together with family is awesome. And I know it will only get better with the years to come because I see how our beautiful children bind us together closer than ever!

Does this make it official???

Okay, so now that Jonah is 7 weeks old and almost about to hit that 2 month mark, I finally think I know the little stinker. I was wondering why all of sudden I was handling him better, why our days seem to flow better, why everything felt a little more structured. I thought it was just because he was getting older and more tolerable to his new surroundings...which could be true...but I also think it's because I am getting to know my little boy better. I know his favorite positions. I'm able to distinguish between his cries and what they mean. I know his dislikes (i.e. cold wet wipes) and his likes (i.e. relaxing music at bedtime). He's more aware of me and his daddy, too. He's starting to smile at the sound of our voices!!

I was worried about returning back to work...and I do really miss him when I'm gone. But I am happy that I'm back doing what I love so much, nursing. And I am happy that Jonah gets some quality time with his daddy, too. Of course Demetrius freaked out the first day and was a little overwhelmed, but with every passing day, he, too, is figuring out his son.

So is it official now? Am I finally a "real" mommy...who knows her child? Not too sure about that...I might be a mommy but I have feeling that everyday is going to be a new discovery!!! I am positive of one thing and that is that with every passing day, I fall deeper and deeper in love with my little boy.

6 weeks already!!!!

Wow! I can't believe it's been 6 weeks already. I start back working today...which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a new baby at home that I have to leave. I think that's the hardest part. I know he'll be home with daddy and I'll only be gone for a short while (since I'm working parttime), but this is the first time since his birth that I have left him and I just worry. I hate that I can't stay home longer. But the bills are not taking a vacation.

big sigh (as I watch Jonah sleep)......................

This past weekend was fun. My best friend, Shali, came to visit. We got to spend a lot of quality time together. Plus we finally took some great photos. My little baby is growing so fast. He's already up to 8.2 pds...(at birth he was only 5.4 pds).

Welcome Baby Jonah!!

Well, I just finished reading my last blog entry and I can't believe that since then my life has changed so much (and that was only a month ago). How crazy life is!!! The day after I posted that blog, my water broke and we were off to the hospital (going as a couple and returning as a threesome!!) It's been 5 weeks since Jan. 30 and I am sitting on cloud nine ever since. I can't say it's all been easy. Taking care of a newborn is exactly how every one describes it...stressful, consuming, tiring, and yet the most fulfilling thing ever!!! My time is definitely not "my time" anymore...but I don't care. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's amazing how you can love someone so much so quickly. I just look at his little face and I melt like butter...can all the other moms relate??

On another happy note, Demetrius found a new job a week after Jonah's birth. It's not the ideal position but it's something for now...and in these times, we're grateful for that much. We're staying in Tyler and that makes me very happy. This is home...and I don't want to leave. It would be wonderful to have family near by to help with babysitting and just to see Jonah grow up...but we've made it work this long. I'm sure the hour and a half drive from Dallas won't start bothering us now.

My free time is very limited (in fact I hear him now waking up from a short nap) but I had to sit down and update my blog...just to let every one out there know that things are going well.

New Year

Man, it's been a little while since I wrote anything on my blog so I guess it's time to "reconnect". It's just been such a whirlwind time during our lives the last few months, I wasn't sure if I even wanted to wake up some days.

The holidays came and went. With Demetrius' recent layoff, it's been a little difficult to focus on anything else. I know the economy is suffering and many people affected by it, but I guess I just thought it would never happen to us. But it did and it hit home...hard!!! Harder than I had ever expected. I felt like a rug had just been pulled out from under us...especially with a new baby on the way.

It has been a roller coaster of a time but I think with God's help, I have such a peace about it all. I was about to lose my mind at one point, crying in confusion everyday almost and at any given moment. And although my prayers first asked for a new job to come up soon, my requests quickly shifted to just having peace of mind and the faith to put everything else in God's hands. That request was granted.

Demetrius is still searching for a new job but we're thankful for the progress. It's a slow process but we understand that not everything happens overnight. And we're going to be patient because God has never failed us before. He's not going to start now.

On a brighter note, I'm only 2 weeks from my due date and the pregnancy is going well so far. I haven't had any problems with my glucose levels, blood pressure, or anything else for that matter. This miracle pregnancy has actually gone smoothly. I've only gained 10 pds so far and I'm feeling really good. Ofcourse I didn't even look pregnant till my last month but that's really nothing to complain about, right? I consider myself very lucky.

Demetrius and I are just praying for a beautiful healthy baby boy to come join us in the next few weeks. Once we see his little face, nothing else in the world will matter. We never thought the day would come that we would be parents and still can't hardly believe it.

So although our future is still unknown and full of mystery, we know in our hearts that we're going to be okay...one way or another...because we know we have the ultimate superhero on our side!!!

Making room for baby!!!

So that room that has been empty in our house since the day we bought it 4 years ago, is officially "the nursery"!!! There were times along that four years that I almost gave up on it...trying to come up with other ideas of what to do with it...a workout room, a craft room, a second guest bedroom, an office....hum???? The possibilities seemed endless, right? But now it's what it was meant to be...the nursery. Demetrius and I had so much fun decorating and making it just right for our little Jonah. We got the awesome idea of creating a "treasure island" theme from Gladys. We started with a simple plan and ended up with an incredible little room. The mural we painted turned out really cute, at least we think so. We hope Jonah will love his room for years to come!!!!

Baby shower

Well, my long awaited baby shower has come and gone. I had the most amazing time ever. It was such an emotional and joyous time for me and Demetrius. We've waited for the day for so long. It was amazing how much love we felt. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful people.

The gifts were amazing!! We are now well prepared for our little man to join us. I got everything on my registry plus some!!! Jonah already has quite a wardrobe.

I just hope everyone who helped and attended the shower...and to those that couldn't attend but whose spirit was alive and well that day know how much I appreciate them.

Oh, happy day!!!!!!!!!

Nesting Syndrome

Okay, so I know they say that this "nesting syndrome" kicks in towards the end of your pregnancy but this week I feel like it has hit me early...maybe my regular OCD-ness caused this phenomenon.

I have gotten so much satisfaction and joy (oddly enough) from cleaning, organizing, and preparing the nursery (along with several other spaces in the house) for our permanent guest who isn't expected to arrive till Feb.

I'm so excited to finally be able to use that empty room in our house that we always called "the nursery" anyway. But now at least we know that name is appropriate and not just our wishful thinking.

Demetrius and I are currently adding our personal touches to the room and so with every nail we hammer, every bow we tie, every stuffed animal we display, our anticipation only grows stronger.

6 months down, 3 to go!!!!

This week is a milestone...I'm 6 months pregnant!!! I can hardly believe I've come that far. In fact, I'm still getting used to this whole pregnancy thing. Every day is something new, some new emotion, some new feeling, some new experience. I do feel a whole lot better than my earlier months but unfortunately I'm not going to be one of those women that brag about how great their pregnancy was. Now that I do know that there seems to be a healthy little boy growing inside of me, all the episodes of nausea, growing pains, and uncontrolled anxiety seem worth it at the end of the day. I'm already just so proud of my little Jonah, who didn't get swallowed by a whale but is instead safely in "Beaula Aunty's stomach" as so eloquently put by Radha. Besides all the gripes I might have about being pregnant, the great part about it is it feels like your birthday every day!! Every one I know just gushes over me and makes me feel special whenever they see me...and even though I know it's only because of this precious cargo I'm toting around, I love it anyway. My shower is scheduled just a few weeks away and our happy news has probably reached many by now. So although I can't wait to meet my little boy, I'm going to try and enjoy these last few months...I know I'll never be able to duplicate this feeling in the future, no matter how big of a meal I might eat!!!!! See you soon, Jonah baby!!!

A New Day Has Come

A New Day Has Come by Celine Dion

I've was waiting for so long
for a miracle to come.
Everyone told me to be strong,
"hold on and don't shed a tear".

Through the darkness and goodtimes,
I knew I'd make it through.
And the world thought I had it all...
but I was waiting for you.

Hush now...I see the light in the sky.
Oh, it's almost blinding me.
I can't believe I've been
touched by an angel with love.

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears.
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears.
Let it shatter the walls for a new son,
a new day has come.

Where it was dark, there's light.
Where there was pain, there is joy.
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
all in the eyes of a boy.

Gladys, my sister

This past weekend was a sweet memorable time for me. My mom and baby sister, Gladys, came down and we got to spend a lot of laying around, doing nothing, quality time together. It was so great...so satisfying...so comforting. I sometimes forget how lucky I am to have such loved ones around me. I know I will never say, "I am alone" in my lifetime, which is such a reassuring thought since I know so many people say this everyday. Gladys has been working weekends for so long that I forgot what it felt like to just "hang out" with her. We are so very different but yet so alike. She may come off as being aloof and spacy at times, but if you look deeper you will see a heart of gold. This past weekend made me think of earlier years when Gladys was younger. She adored me...she was the cutest, sweetest little girl I knew. I thought with age all this was gone forever but I realized that although she has grown and changed, she's still the same little Gladys I fell in love with many years ago. We're connected on so many levels and if there is anyone whose soul is identical to mine it is hers. I love you, sis...I hope she knows this always and forever. And thank you, mom and dad, for bringing her into my life.

(Glady, don't forget you'll always get to say you were the first to feel your niece/nephew move inside their momma's tummy!!)

Autumn arrives...

Okay, my very first post...here goes.

So here I am the most lucky and blessed woman in the world...17 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good. The first trimester was tough but I made it through. And here I am still going...pretty amazing.

Every day is a gift and I know this after what I've gone through in the past...I try not to think negatively. But I've always been the cautious type...just trying to protect my heart I guess. Everything does feel different this time though...no problems, no worries.

My marriage is stronger than ever (gosh, we've been through so much together...how can we not be partners for life??) No one can ever fill his shoes...and I can say I feel pretty confident, he feels the same way about my shoes!!

As the seasons change...the cool brisk air, the falling leaves, the smell of autumn, I'm forced to succumb to the same nostalgia that hits me every year at this time. It's not a "bad" feeling, it's just a sweet bitterness of the thoughts of yesterday. I'm starting to feel little pokes now and then and it's a pretty good reminder that someone is along the ride with me this go round.

My whole life is about to change...and I think that thought intensifies this "feeling of nostalgia". I can't help but think of what a whirlwind my life has been. I think about all the great times and all the great disappointments, some even heartbreaking. It's funny how so much has changed, and yet so much is still the same.

I'm not sad about being pregnant...gosh, I fought too long and hard to get where I am. I just feel...I don't know...don't even have the words. Maybe I should just blame it on the hormones, right? I guess maybe I feel like I'm losing my youth...(which I actually lost a very long time ago)...but now I'm going to be some one's "momma"!!! It's all different.

I'm so scared...which is pretty normal, right...other mommies, tell me, am I right?? My life is so free now...you know? I eat when I want to eat. I sleep when I want to sleep. I bum around and watch trash TV for hours. I cuss like a sailor at any given occasion. I go shopping and spend money on myself without feeling guilty. I vacuum at 3 in the morning. I make love with the bedroom door open.

And, now, the thought of what I have been dreaming about for years, is coming true. We're going to have someone that is exclusively ours...how exquisite of a thought is that??? But am I going to lose myself...lose all the freedom I have??

I hear all these beautiful stories how becoming a mother changes you...how it's the most satisfying and exhilarating experience. And I believe them but I'm just scared right now. I haven't completely connected with this creation that's growing inside of me. I know something is going on down there and my monthly dr's visits reinforce this, but I am waiting for that moment when I am going to lose all my fears and know that everything is going to be okay...does that moment ever come?

So as September clouds me with thoughts of the past, thoughts of my youth, I am trying to look beyond to the sunshine that is promised ahead. Until then, my prayers continue for protection of this body that carries this baby and strength for this heart that carries this soul.

So after trying for several weeks now to start a blog page for my own family, I have finally figured this madness out...although I'm still learning all the little details, I feel like I've accomplished something huge!!

I would like to thank Jodi and now Jennifer for their wonderful blogsites for being my inspiration! Hope you enjoy my page as well!!! God knows I love to talk and I have much to say so stay tuned for more!!